So I was out the other night and ended up talking to a girl at the bar.

I told her that, aside from other things, I blog about communication skills and building rapport. This led us on a long winding conversation on sexual communication skills while at a public setting such as the bar we were sitting at.

When the conversation turned to eye contact she told me something I’ll never forget.

Actually making real eye contact will not be as awkward as this picture is

This stranger, we’ll call her Laura, informed me of a little piece of insider girl info that I think most guys should lock up on and staple to the back of their hand. (You’ll see why in a bit)

She told me that “The only tool that a girl has to attract a guy or get his attention at a bar or night club is eye contact.”

So what does this mean for the hungry bachelors…and bachellorettes… out there?

Well for starters it means that you’re not going to get shot down if they make eye contact with you. The eye contact has to happen at least twice but once it does you have to wrap up that opportunity like one of those squealing pigs at those country Ho-Downs.

 Of course every situation is different but here is a little combination of my interpretation of what our friend Laura shared with us…and the following doesn’t matter if you’re a guy or a girl.

I call this formula the EYE CONTACT CODE

1)      Post up at a high traffic area and simply scan the room or venue.

2)      If you catch someone’s eyes, hold the gaze for about 3 seconds. Here’s why three works… 1 second says your just looking around, 2 says you caught me staring at you and now I’m looking down at the drink in my hand with the note stapled to the back of it, 3 is just right and 4 says you’re a creeper.

3)      Break the contact… then after a couple of seconds to a minute look back.

4)      If they meet your eyes again then it’s GAME ON and you plan your approach.

5)      If you need to feel sure that they were actually looking at you then use steps 2 and 3 again but I wouldn’t do this for more than 3 times because then you’re creepy and they question your confidence level.

6)      As you approach you have to use the situational ice breaker technique to seal the deal.

1. I teach, in detail, the situational ice breaker in my upcoming “Breaking the Ice Accelerator Program: Initiate Conversation with 50 New People in One Month.”
2. In one sentence, the situational ice breaker is exactly what it says it is…it is using your surroundings to your advantage to leverage an opening statement.

If this is practiced and done right you will never have to worry about not having someone NEW to talk to while out ever again.